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34 Phonebox Magazine | July 2025I%u2019ve recently re acquainted myself with my old pals from The Offi cial Monster Raving Loony Party. I don%u2019t think things have changed much since they had Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow, in charge, who founded it in 1983.See you next month!Dave%u2026 Of course there hadn%u2019t been any Earls of Harrow before him, as he just changed his name to that. He was a quiet man off stage, but with an edge of eccentricity that was delightful, and he did stand for Parliament over 40 times. Even more than Nigel Farage. David (his real name) died in 1999, aged 58, having suff ered from depression for some time, but I guess he would be surprised %u2013 and happy %u2013 that it%u2019s still going strong.Some of his early policies included bringing the voting age down from 21 to 18, pedestrianising Carnaby Street, passports for Pets and the introduction of all-day opening for pubs. All of which became law without David having a sniff of power, so who says you can%u2019t infl uence anything.I think I had a hand in the policy of minting a 99p coin to stop beggaring about with pennies, but it was all a long time ago and somewhat vague, but that is still one of their policies.Some of the more recent policies have a sniff of reality about them.%u2022 Getting rid of Value Added Tax (VAT), as adding 20% to a price can hardly be classed as value.%u2022 Replacing all employees of the border forces with GP Receptionists therefore dramatically reducing the number of people getting in.%u2022 Reducing hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.%u2022 Having a %u2018cooling off %u2019 period of about two years after the next general election in case voters wish to change their minds.%u2022 Rejoin the EU and sack the other 27 countries.My favourite is bringing in an ROT. As you need an MOT to ensure your car is road-worthy, the ROT would be an annual test to ensure that the roads are acceptable for cars to drive on. I have recently had two blow-outs due to potholes, and I don%u2019t even drive very fast these days. So, I am going to see if I can get the council to pay for my recent one. There is a process involved, as I%u2019ve looked it up, and I will keep you informed of any progress, so if you see me out measuring potholes and photographing them in the Clifton Reynes area, please slow down and wave. The problem with Milton Keynes City Council is that they don%u2019t even know Olney and the surrounding area exists.I once phoned them about something, and they denied that I was under MK Council. So, I asked them if I could stop paying my rates, which focused them a bit, but all they seem to want to do is expand MK so they can boast about how marvellous they are. I wonder how they%u2019ll cope when Reform sweeps the board in May 2026, which may happen if they%u2019re not careful. I%u2019m not saying it would be good, but it would be quite funny, and probably no worse than it is now.As for the question of ID cards, which is coming up again, the Monster Raving Loony Party have had ID cards for years. I still have my original card, and all it is is a card with your name on it and a mirror, and if you%u2019re asked for ID, you look in the mirror and say, %u201cYes, it is me%u201d. If you don%u2019t recognise yourself, ask someone else to check. If you join the party, they now send you one on a keyring to make it easy. I%u2019ll show you mine (ooh, err missus) if you see me. I carry it around all the time.Finally, what is going on at 17a High Street, the ex-Old Shanghai building? I thought it was a joke on the Olney Notice Board, but when it was taken off the notice board, I thought, aye, aye, and investigated it a bit closer, and it looks like %u2013 allegedly %u2013 a private members swingers club. So, I shall be donning a false nose and moustache and joining. It%u2019s quite exciting, really, and it makes a change from people moaning about Turkish barbers and Nail Bars.I think it%u2019s MK Council you must contact if you want to object, by the 7th of July, and not Olney Town Council, as they have no powers over commercial businesses taking on a property. They can have a say in the frontage, now that could be interesting.In the meantime I%u2019m now on Amazon, looking at disguises.