Christmas Tips from a Mediator HCelebrate Fourth Birthday aving traded at a market stall for over 30 years, Derek Scott decided to open his own greengrocers in Olney. 'Harvest' has now been open for 4 years; sellingfresh fruit and veg, flowers, free range eggs and more, with the addition of Christmas trees and holly wreaths as the Christmas season approaches! Derek puts their success down to the local and personal service they offer, so as their own personal thank you to their customers, two reindeer are coming to town this December! The reindeer will be found in Fountain Cou , just outside the shop, for a few hours on the day of the Dickens of a Christmas event in the town on the 8th December. The reindeers made their debut appearance four years ago, and with them returning for a fourth time, their popularity is set to be bigger than ever. Derek described last year's queues of people as being like a football crowd, lining up to have their photos taken and pet and feed the reindeer. This year is set to be much the same, bringing some real Christmas fun to the town and giving the children (and adults!), a chance to experience some of the excitement of the festive season. H a rvest Families argue at Christmas. I put this down to Too Much or Too Little. Too much time together. Too much to eat and drink, too much expectation and disappointment, but mostly too much said, a er too little thought. You could mediate Christmas; I think you'd find it makes a difference. John "My family haven't wanted me at Christmas for years . . ." You "It must feel really hard not to see your family at Christmas" (acknowledging and summarising) but they do live a long way away and we'd miss you. . "(re-frame the reason, it's not lack of love it's distance and he has good friends. Challenge the script). Usually someone plays Christmas Martyr; people compete for this role, Mary Banham-Hall Lead Mediator especially in the kitchen. You have a choice - compete or let them get on with it and take the dog for a walk, get very drunk, retire to bed sick or become deaf. T h e script assigned to you is usually callous selfishness. Play the game, a d mire their self sacrifice and h a rd work, they will love it and you will have peace. A martyr won't give their heroic role up lightly and if it's you and you are challenged, concede the role and take a break! If all else fails, call us after the C h ristmas shut-down and we'll try to help. We may have been mediating hard at home over Christmas - but then so may you . . . • We are accredited experts, dedicated to mediation • We use experienced lawyer mediators for financial cases • We have specialist mediators who can see your children • Weofferlegalaidifyouqualifyfinancially Our experienced specialist mediation team are prou d to be mediation experts. Visit our website for more information www.focus-mediation. co.uk or call us for help on 01 908 41 0509. Legal Aid is still available for family mediation, so your assessment is FREE if either of you qualifies. Only£100plusVAT foranindividualassessmentor£150plusVAT for both of you for a joint assessment. Register your interest at: .focus-mediation.co.uk Contracted with the Legal Aid Agency Call 01 908 41 0509 2cusmediotion Effective Dispute Resolution Phonebox Magazine 29