Page 56 - Phonebox Magazine March 2011

A Month in the Garden
This month we bring you the best tips for March from the BBC’s gardening website. It is a fabulous source of gardening advice and inspiration and can be found here: www.bbc.co.uk/gardening
Spring mulch your veg patch
Action time: 01/03 - 07/03
Give your beds a boost by adding a thick layer of mulch around plants to lock in moisture and ensure beds don't dry out. Divide overgrown herbs
Action time: 03/03 - 07/03
Early spring is the best time to divide and replant congested perennial herbs like mint, chives, lovage and marjoram, while the plants are still dormant.
Send off for seeds
Action time: 04/03 - 04/03
It's the perfect time to plan your borders and stock up on new seeds. Get all the tips you
need to ensure you buy the right plants for your garden.
Prune shrubs
Action time: 04/03 - 11/03
Give your shrubs a hard prune to improve the shape and encourage flowers. Cut directly above a pair of buds using clean, sharp tools.
Start mowing your lawn
Action time: 07/03 - 08/03
Start giving your lawn a regular, if possible, weekly trim. Set the mower blades high to begin with.
Feed your lawn
Action time: 11/03 - 14/03
A spring feed will keep your lawn vigorous and less prone to weeds and moss. Boost pot grown shrubs
Action time: 19/03 - 26/03
Give your shrubs an instant boost with a fresh layer of compost. If your plant has outgrown its pot, gently tease out the roots before repotting.
Feed the birds
Action time: 21/03 - 21/03
Emerging wildlife, such as birds will appreciate a helping hand this month. Get together with your children to create a bird feeder.
DAVID PIBWORTH COLUMN
An Annual Event
Can you believe this. I had an article ready for this March edition of the Phonebox and the opening lines were ‘Well, no seat belt sortie on the town of Olney by the Police this February’, but then going onto something completely different.
Well, listen up! I drove through Olney this morning, which is Friday the 18th February 2011 and who should be sitting outside the Carlton House Club but.....wait for it....wait for it....the Police! And what were they doing? The annual seat belt sortie! I could have cried with joy. So I took the photo’s as usual, aware that I could be held under anti terrorism laws, but also aware that if held under the anti terrorism laws I could probably wrestle some money out of the state in compensation to help towards my annual tax bill, in order to pay the police their salary. What comes around, goes around, as they say. I hung about in hope for a few minutes, but no arrest seemed imminent and so here I am back at the type writer.
What you may notice about this ‘crack down’ is that it is a Friday and there are only two police
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cars there. Last time it was on a Sunday and there were about 500 squad cars. That’s cut backs for you. They can’t even get a decent bit of over time in nowadays.
It was the same cheery geezer doing the ‘spotting’ but this time instead of standing
outside Brock’s Garage he had moved up to near the level crossing. This may be to do with Norton Brock who takes a dim view on it. If they had asked his permission to creep about outside Brock’s garage I can guess his reply. And I wouldn’t be able to print it.
I try to engage Mr Spotter in conversation each year, but, well, ...I’m not quite sure how to put this... but he probably shouldn’t give up that job to take up public speaking.
I have received many phone calls from mates telling me about it this morning and even one from a group of journalists who enjoy my annual rant about it.
There’s always a funny to come out of it and this time it was from a good friend who was done coming into Olney. Bang to Rights as they say in Z Cars. When he was being given his ticket the policeman said that he thought he could smell alcohol on his breath and breathalized him. The result of course was 0%
and the policeman said “Sorry, the smell must have been from the Club.” He then waved him on and forgot to give him his ticket, so my friend now has to ring up to get his crime number in order to pay it in time. Still I suppose it’s not as bad as when I was stopped for not wearing one, when I was wearing one, which is why this all started.
However my view on it has changed and I think it’s great. I’m nostalgic about it now and quite disappointed that the one time that we can guarantee a police presence in Olney they only bother to bring two cars along. It’s not like the old days.
It’s a date for the diary really and we should celebrate it like the Pancake Race. Otherwise we may lose it altogether. If the police would just give us the date in advance we could all dress up and come equipped with clip boards and walkie talkies. Even old hairdryers which we could pretend were speed guns. I shall write to the Police Constable requesting it be brought back to Sundays so that we can all enjoy it. It could be a real community event. It would bring us all together as one jolly family. I would be happy to sell ice creams from the police station. It’s closed on Sundays, and I already have a hat, so I could be Dixon of Dock Green.
And of course, if it were publisized correctly then I have no doubt that everyone coming into the town on that day would wear a seatbelt.
Job done. It’s easy when you put your mind to it.
All the best, David Pibworth (Wormwood Scrubs.)