Page 46 - Phonebox Magazine April 2010

Free Range
THE MEAT and eggs which come to our table are none of them the fruit of entirely innocent accident. Cattle, pigs, poultry and pheasants are all managed through life with an ultimate destination called ‘dinner plate’.
We are a nation of animal lovers and naturally
interest ourselves in the life quality of all livestock.
The horrid conditions in which battery hens are
confined have entered the conscience so firmly
that the producers have been driven by force of
customer resistance to afford them some vestige
of exercise space which they ask us to believe is
free range. But that range is far from free, it is a
small pen offering maybe fifty chickens sufficient room to walk around one another without any crush. So our eggs no longer come from a tiny cage, they come from a slightly larger one but I’m damned if those hens are enjoying free range. I simply cannot believe a chicken is enjoying a free range if it has no opportunity to scratch around on this good earth and find itself the occasional worm – if it were then I suppose the animal liberation mob would be raising petitions on behalf of the worm.
cannot be said for the end of the chicken, bull or pig.
The shooting fraternity are the very people who maintain our open land and woodlands. Just living in a village does not make a countryman – most ‘villagers’ nowadays work in offices and never get to operate any part of the actual life of their surroundings. The real countrymen are the ones who operate the land around them, working watchfully in all weathers through all seasons. Recent legislation to ban their activities was nothing but a townie led and vicious campaign driven by envy and ignorance.
Larger livestock hereabouts generally has a decent life – cattle and sheep in particular. Pigs – our ham and bacon – have less free space but at least they aren’t stuck in small cages. For the most part then we do secure good living for farm animals, but the time comes to cart them off to the abattoir. There is a sense of death about an abattoir and it does apparently get to an animal even before the killer bolt; I have been along and I’ve seen which calls for a strong stomach. Far worse I’ve been in a place working to the Halal ritual which ought surely to be prohibited.
Most of us do have the occasional chance to observe chickens
enjoying real freedom scratching around on farmsteads or in village surroundings. You’ll hopefully enjoy the picture of a mother hen and
her chicks enjoying the life of Riley, this from an African township
where it is a common sight indeed; but they all end up on someone’s
dinner plate. There are, however, plenty of birds destined for the table which do enjoy good living hereabouts. Pheasants live a life of plenty
in a splendid environment and their death is instantaneous which GB
To advertise call Mark on 01234 713298
M J King
Scientists at Cranfield University specialising in metal vibrations and fatique have discovered a new threat that has grave implications for metal bridges around the World.
Professor Luis Strand has discovered a variation of the feroplasma acidarmanus bug found only in the iron mines of Tropical New Guinea that has found it’s ways onto our shores and mutated into a species that has a liking for pig iron, especially on bridges using Linotype black paint, a special paint that has been used to paint bridges for many many years because of its fantastic qualities for detering rust and being water resistant.
The manufacturers of the paint have said that the only way any bridges in the area can be made safe is to be immediately painted with a new mix they have developed which has a chemical in it that kills the bugs immediately which will be available shortly. Anyone who may have “borrowed” any of this paint and possibly have painted their railings, bikes, guttering etc should also beware as they could disappear overnight.
Please phone 01908 7345768 and ask for Walter Bridgenorth if you have any concerns regarding the above notice. “The only way the bugs can be erradicated is to starve them to death by depriving them of our bridges in this area,” said Professor Luis Strant. “Lets hope they do not get a taste for anything else as this could turn nasty.” Until the problem has passed it has been deemed necessary to allow only four cars and one bike on any iron bridges in the area at any one time. The public are asked to respect this wish or they may end up in the river.
J.I.B. Registered Plumber
Bathrooms a Speciality Including Floor and Wall Tiling
27 years experience
Mark King
Sherington 01908 612320 ~ 07887 643912
46 Phonebox Magazine
We have been hunter gatherers since before we left the cave for we have ever been omnivores. It is good to care for the conditions in which all creatures live, good also to ensure some care led gentleness to their death. It is good also to enjoy our meat as surely as the turnips, greens and spuds. Surely we have the collective wit to leave it be so.
Iron Bridge
Threat
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